On average, 20% of teens will experience the death of someone. In our school, that would mean 360 students have been affected! Many students are unsure of what to do or how to help themselves. 5% of the students here could lose a parent, which would change their  lives forever

If you are dealing with grief, there are some steps to take to help you get better.

Step 1

Face It Head-On

It is hard to understand why bad things happen to people. But when they do, we do not want to push down how we feel. We need to face the challenges head-on. Emotions are bound to pass through us. They should be able to come and then go, but that process takes time. We should recognize our feelings and then try to push forward. Something to practice while facing grief would be to say to yourself, “I am sad and hurt, but life can and will get better.”  

There is a story of 2 different kinds of buffalo in a rainstorm.  Buffalo 1 and 2 see a rain storm. 1 starts to run away from the storm, trying to get away from the rain so it does not get wet. Even though the buffalo tried to escape, the storm would always follow. The second buffalo ran into the storm. The buffalo knew that the storm would end, but also knew it was still going to get wet. Buffalo 2 knows that if you face the storm head-on on it will end sooner, and you don’t have to keep running.

We can decide if we want to be Buffalo 1 or 2. We can run away from our life storm of losing a loved one or face it. By facing it, it does not mean that you are getting rid of the love and memories; it means you are losing the weight of the grief that you feel.

Step 2

Feel it and help it

This is not something that you can just understand and be okay with. You can feel mad, sad, hopeless, and more. But in a time when you can feel like no one is there, someone sees you and can help you. You have family and friends who can help you because they are going through the same grief. Counselors at school are always here to help. They have sessions that you can sign up for so that you can talk to someone about how you feel. There are numbers you can call if you are really feeling low. You may feel broken from this loss. That is something that no one wants to feel. So let’s help it.

Take baby steps; you can set goals for yourself. One could be getting out of bed and making your bed. Two could be making a yummy breakfast. The small things add up in the big picture. By doing things little by little, you can see yourself getting more positive and more energetic. If you feel like your mood is not changing, keep track of your mood before and after doing something interactive.  For example, I am feeling like a 5/10 before walking or sitting out in the sun, and I am feeling like a 6/10  after sitting/ walking outside. The small steps can make the biggest impact.

Do things that help make you happy, like sports, music, art, games, family, and friends. Feeling joy and true happiness helps you focus on the good things in life. Go try new things, explore new food, new places, and travel. Do say in bed and rot, you should do small things that make you feel better.

Here is a banana bread recipe to try.

Step 3

Reach Out

Reaching out is one of the best things that you can do in a state of losing someone that you love. Having family members, friends, and counselors looking after you is one of the best ways to know that you are seen and that people understand you. Here at Chatfield, we have so many different support systems that can help you through struggling with grief.

We don’t have counselors here at Chatfield just because we need them, but to use them. Their jobs are to help our students feel the best that they can and succeed while doing this. Challenges with grief can definitely bring down your willingness to do school. The counselors at Chatfield are here to help you and support you in what you need. Counselors can modify, change, and understand what you need to help you learn the best that you can while going through this.

If you struggle to have a good connection with your counselors, there are lots of other options for you. There are people that you can call, listed below, are the different numbers that you can call for different necessary needs

Step 4

Go and do

There are so many things that can help you get happier. Listening to music and singing is actually really good for you. You have this tub that goes through your spine, which is what makes you stressed out and raises your Anxiety levels. By singing, your lungs expand and stop the motions from moving it keeping it still.

You can make a playlist of all your favorite songs and just go to your room and sing your heart out! That is so good for you.

Exercises are also very good for you; running releases dopamine, which helps your mental health become stronger and happier. Going outside for even 5 minutes can help you feel better. Doing small things can lift your spirits.  Go and do things that make you happy, even if that means that you are getting out of bed, eating breakfast, and going on a hike.  If that is what you want. You can draw, color, paint, sing, dance, run what you love. Go and do it.

In Conclusion 

Dealing with grief is not easy and takes time, but there are so many steps to take to help you. You are never alone, and at Chatfield, so many people care. So reach out! You can get through this, and there is so much to look forward to. Don’t forget that you belong and that you have a place at Chatfield.

Here is a link about 5 WAYS TO STIMULATE AND REGULATE YOUR STRESS .